Cute story, but the song diverts my attention
The animation was lovely. I enjoy some gothic toons from time to time. The poem was spectacular!
Here is my problem though. I'm a big fan of using other people's songs when it fits the scene, and while the music was decent for the scene, the biggest problem for me is that the music is the theme song for Elfen Lied, an anime. It was nearly inpossible to concentrate on your story because I had visions of Elfen Lied popping up in my head brought about by the red eyes on the girl and the blood and death that consumes both your animation and Elfen Lied. I think as Elfen Lied gains popularity, that will be a bigger problem for this particular peice.
Other than that, really nice work. Definite potential with the right music, or perhaps voice over.